Okay, I’ve struggled with whether I wanted to admit this starting number, but really why start a blog about my weight loss journey if I’m not willing to be honest about the numbers.
My “official” starting weight for this journey is …
367 pounds.
Yep, there I said it. And if that was my *highest number ever* I might be feeling even worse, but the truth is — it’s 33 pounds less than my all-time high of 400 pounds.
*sigh*
Note to self: I will not let the number on the scale dictate my self-worth.
Today is my birthday. I turn 39.
I don’t know about you but I’m pretty weird when it comes to birthdays. Well, honestly this started about ten years ago, which I turned 29. Which I guess leads me to understand why it’s even more serious of a feeling now that I’m turning 39.
I’ve had a lot of bargains with myself. Surely you can relate.
"If I'm still (morbidly) obese when I'm 30 (35, 40..) I'll do something drastic like lap-band surgery."
"I'll start eating healthy on New Year's Day, my birthday, my son's birthday, next week, etc. and etc. and etc."
Turning 39 is another wake up call for me. But this time, I MEAN BUSINESS!! What makes it different this time?
1.) I have a child who is 15 months old. I want to live as many years as I can to enjoy life with him. He is the most important thing in my life and I need to treat myself with the same care and love that I treat him with. I don’t want to die of heart disease, diabetes, or some other preventable obesity-related disease and leave him without his mommy.
2.) I’m sick and tired of being fat! I have spent more than half of my life being morbidly obese. What kind of life is that, really? Why must I continue to fight this war day after day after day? I’m so tired of losing. I’m so tired of counting myself out on activities that I yearn to do (biking, kayaking, getting on an airplane to travel the world..). I am angry enough to do something about it.
3) I will commit to sharing my success on my blog. I’ve started blogs before but kept them hidden. This time — no hiding! I’ll bare my soul to the world now that it’s so socially acceptable. I love reading other success stories on the web. It’s my turn to join the ranks!
4) I’m pissed off at the food industry. I’m sick of all this crap in the grocery stores and at restaurants. I don’t want to be the uneducated consumer who goes about my day oblivious to all of the addictive and unhealthy crap they put in our foods today! As I learn more, I’ll share my discoveries with you.
5) I deserve to feel good about myself and to love my body.
So there we are.. there is the reasons behind the motivation. I’m serious about this. More serious than I’ve ever been. I will succeed and I will stop this vicious cycle in my life and prevent my child from following in my footsteps. Are you with me??
